Though in many ways I’ve always known, I’ve only this weekend indwelled that without breath, we are nothing. I don’t mean that in some grand cosmic way (such is given) but in a kōanic, simple observation. Sure there are the meditators and monks and wellness types who know this all too well, but what about the rest of us? Do we take breath for granted? Or do we reserve that attention for the moments that matter?
Yesterday I laid on the brick in my backyard next to my Great Dane, Louie, as he died from what I assume was a heart attack (he was 9 and had DCM and a number of other long-term ailments, though through the end he was happy and nosy and sassy and playful all the same). I can’t shake the sound and feel of his last breath. One final exhale. There may be a word that encapsulates it — if there is I don’t know it. But then I noticed myself time after time yesterday and today exhaling slowly as my mind went back. I thought of my collegiate decathlon days, exhaling as I heard “on your marks”, drowning out all that was around me. I thought of the slightly-more-forceful-than-average exhales on my rebreather, deeper underwater than the Statue of Liberty is tall. Maybe it’s a good thing we think of breath only when absolutely necessary. Scarcity eases preciousness, even if only in notice. And what’s more precious than breath?